Meet Steve Abma
Registered Psychotherapist, Clinical Director
I'm an experienced Couples Therapist and passionate owner of Abma Counselling, nestled in the heart of beautiful Niagara Falls, Ontario.
My mission is to guide individuals and couples on a transformative journey towards fulfilling their boundless potential, leading them to deeply satisfying, long-lasting and secure relationships and a rich, full and meaningful life.
In our work together, you'll gain the tools, insights, and support needed to navigate life's challenges, reach your personal and relationship goals, and become more like the person you were made to be.
My Approach
At the heart of my therapeutic practice lies a commitment to helping individuals and couples lead happier, more fulfilling lives. I believe in a holistic approach that draws from the wisdom of several effective therapeutic modalities. Here, I'd like to share a glimpse of how I integrate Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Gottman Therapy, and Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT) into my work:
01
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
ACT, also known as the "psychological flexibility model," is a cornerstone of my approach. I help clients embrace the difficulties they face, rather than trying to control or avoid them. Through ACT, I guide individuals and couples in clarifying their values, setting meaningful goals, and taking committed action towards those goals. It's about living a life aligned with your true values, even in the face of challenges.
03
Emotion Focused Therapy
EFT focuses on the emotions at the core of our experiences and our interactions with others. I utilize EFT techniques to help individuals and couples identify and express their emotions in ways that builds trust and connection. By fostering secure emotional bonds and reshaping attachment patterns, I guide clients through resolving conflicts towards greater intimacy.
02
Gottman Couples Therapy
Drawing from the research of John and Julie Gottman, I incorporate evidence-based techniques for couples therapy. The Gottman Method emphasizes building trust, improving communication, and nurturing intimacy. By identifying and addressing the "Four Horsemen" (destructive communication patterns) and enhancing emotional connection, I help couples develop healthy, lasting relationships.
04
Faith-Based Approach
While I'm shaped by a Christian worldview, I respect and honor the diverse belief systems of my clients and recognize the richness of different cultural and spiritual traditions. My goal is to create a safe and inclusive environment where individuals and couples can explore their own unique perspectives, values, and beliefs as part of their healing and growth journey.
Choose Your Relationship Path
Are you and your partner facing the complex challenges of maintaining a strong, loving connection in today's fast-paced world? I understand the hurdles that relationships can encounter – from communication breakdowns to emotional distance, where partners feel more like roommates.
I understand the frustration, uncertainty, and longing that can come with these difficulties.
My commitment is to help partners, like you, overcome these challenges and rediscover the love, intimacy, and connection that may have slipped away. I offer a range of services carefully crafted to meet your unique needs.
Whether you're navigating a rough patch or simply seeking ways to enhance your relationship, I'm here to support you and your partner on a transformative journey toward a more loving, secure and harmonious partnership.
Explore my services, and let's work together to help you and your partner build a thriving, lasting connection.
Balancing Depth with Lightness:
I believe that the journey to growth, healing, and recovery doesn't always have to be solemn or heavy. While we delve into deep and transformative work - we will acknowledge and honour the pain that life brings - I also value the importance of humor, lightheartedness, and creativity.
Laughter, gratitude and joy are powerful allies in the process of healing and personal growth. Along with sharing a few tears, I'll incorporate humor and playfulness into our sessions, understanding that sometimes a smile or a shared laugh can be just as therapeutic as probing conversations.
Embracing the Whole Person
I'm committed to understanding the unique contexts of each individual and couple I work with. I truly believe that to grasp why someone might be feeling the way they do, it's crucial to examine where they've come from (history), how they see themselves and others (worldview), and how they function in relationships (personality).
We'll do a little digging to get to the truth: e.g. is your anxiety a feature of trauma and loss rather than a character defect...is your partner's jealousy is actually fear of inadequacy... is it possible that how your partner is responding to you is influenced by past experiences or personality?
We'll bring compassion to pain, and discover that healing begins with understanding.
No Quick Fixes
Life's complexities rarely yield easy answers. While appealing, in our work together, we'll avoid the temptation of one-size-fits-all solutions that fail to address the depth and unique nuances of individual experiences.
My commitment lies in helping you navigate these complexities with wisdom, curiosity and compassion. We'll recognize that meaningful transformation requires a more comprehensive and tailored approach: taking the time to truly understand each person's unique journey, emotions, and struggles, and crafting strategies and insights that resonate with their specific needs and circumstances.
Unlocking Your Potential
In my work with couples over the years, I've noticed a pattern that keeps couples from resolving important issues: each partner possesses strengths that may not always surface during times of stress.
I've observed that these strengths, once uncovered, can help partners work together to solve almost any problem.
Recognizing how their own strengths can enhance the relationship is a pivotal moment for couples. It not only fosters a deeper understanding of each other but also empowers couples to collaborate more effectively, communicate more openly, and face challenges with resilience. It's a transformational process that leads to a more vibrant, fulfilling, and enduring connection.
Favourite Quotes
To be human is to need others, and this is no flaw or weakness.
Sue Johnson, Author, Hold Me Tight
Influential Books
I love reading books about personal growth, and if you do too, I invite you to check out some of my recent favourites.
